(no subject)

Well, I felt like things were getting better, but the truth is now my anxiety is right back up for exactly the same stupid reason as it was before.  I know it's irrational, not to mention pointless on every level.  I even know it proves time and time again not to be the case.  But something about this particular situation sets me off and I'm not even sure why, except for the whole mixed signals theory I developed lately about my triggers.

I've lost almost all interest in so much lately, so I know depression is a major player in this anxiety even beyond the triggers.  There's not much I can do but wait it out, I still have no insurance and have no way to acquire any for several months which means no topamax, which means no migraine/depression treatment.

Writing here seems to help, and I have mixed feelings about knowing nobody reads this.  It helps because I am a very private person.. but it would kind of be good to have someone say "hey, I see you, and I know what you're feeling." too...  Maybe someday.

To be honest I don't even know how much use this site sees overall, and that's fine.  I really like it.